By Wayne E. Rivet

Staff Writer

When is it appropriate for youngsters to learn specific body part terms, as well as gender identity?

Some parents voiced their concerns to the SAD 61 School Board and Superintendent Al Smith about a recent presentation by Sexual Assault Response Services of Southern Maine at Crooked River Elementary on Tuesday, Oct. 4.

A letter was sent to parents/caregivers, dated Sept. 30, regarding the scheduled presentation, noting topics to be discussed included “Knowing your Body” and “Identity and Gender Stereotypes.”

School Counselor Amy Saunders noted that in 2018, the Maine Department of Education “rolled out a mandate requiring all school districts in the state to implement a child sexual abuse prevention and response model policy.”

“This meant implementing a program to help students develop skills and understanding around boundaries, personal body safety and healthy communication,” Saunders wrote.

When Amy Morton’s two daughters (a fifth and third grader) came home, they were “confused” and “uncomfortable” as the result of the presentation. Morton addressed the School Board Monday night.

“Let’s start with my fifth grader’s experience.  She informed me that a male, dressed as a woman was one of the speakers. He informed the kids that he identifies as a ‘they/them.’ Meanwhile, the kids were given worksheets and they had to also write in their pronouns. My daughter was aware of what this meant, but many other students were not,” Morton said. “She was even asked by other students about what they should write. This shows that at 10/11 years old, they cannot and should not be comprehending information of this magnitude. She came home extremely upset over this whole situation. After speaking with some of her classmates’ parents, it was very obvious that she wasn’t the only one. Not only were they confused, but very upset and disturbed.”

Morton received a picture from another mother that was handed out by presenters to her daughter’s third grade class.

“The picture was completely inappropriate for third graders, never mind any elementary students,” Morton said. “When I asked my daughter about it, her response was, ‘mom, I ripped up my picture because it was weird and about privates.’ Let me give you a visual. The drawing was a young man sitting naked in a bathtub, a young woman standing naked in a mirror. Now, I could get passed that part, even though I still think third grade is much too young. My issue is with the fact that the boy had the breasts in which the kids had to label. The girl was wearing a shaving cream mustache.”

Morton pointed out that students had to label the vulva on the girl and penis/testicles on the boy. 

“I am all for using proper verbiage for private areas, my kids know them. But, being 8 years old, she still chooses to use words like ‘privates’ because that makes her feel more comfortable. I am not sure who thinks that having breasts on a male or an 8-year-old needing to identify a vulva or having a naked boy and girl in the same room is appropriate when all it did was confuse them even more,” Morton said. “This day was a complete breach of mine, as well as so many other parents’ parental roles. This presentation not only was inappropriate in many ways, but also took away my young children’s innocence. It made them feel uncomfortable, confused and unsafe.”

Morton added, “My concern is far more about the safety of our children as well as keeping a parent’s right to teach things of this nature in a safe place at home, in the way we, the parents, see fit. While I realize that not every home is safe, and I truly feel for those situations, that still has no place in this matter. Let’s spend our time and resources focusing on how to help those children in unsafe homes.”

Morton also questioned why a poster was taped to the guidance counseling office door noting, “This classroom is a safe and inclusive space for LGBTQ+ Students.” It notes that “this teacher is a resource if you need help or support.” The poster was provided by SARSSM and the United Way of York County.

“If we are trying to teach about inclusion, kindness and anti-bullying strategies, isn’t this sign completely hypocritical? Why would a sign that reads, ‘This classroom is a safe place for ALL students?’ Why are we teaching our elementary students that labels are accepted?” Morton asked. 

In an interview with The News, Smith gave a more detailed response to parents’ comments and concerns.

First, Smith admitted SAD 61 failed to “ask some important questions” regarding materials to be used for the presentation. In the past, screening was done before outside groups addressed students. Since Zoom has been used the past two years due to Covid, the review step was missed.

“It is time to go back and remind them (staff) that you can’t skip things,” Smith said. 

SARSSM has been used by SAD 61 for the past 10 years with no prior issues. 

“The group’s program has been approved by the Muskie School of Public Safety. We did our homework to be sure we have the right, approved group. It was something that just went a little off,” Smith said. “A letter was sent home to parents from the guidance counselor explaining the presentation, and reminding parents if they declined having their child take in the talk, they could ‘opt out.’ The child would then be placed in another room and given other work to do while the presentation was being made.”

To his knowledge (no mention from staff), Smith said no parent chose the “opt out” option.  

“I am not aware of any,” he said. “They may have.”

Smith received a half dozen phone calls and e-mails from parents after the presentation. “It was enough that I needed to check into this,” he said.

When asked what is the appropriate age to discuss specific body parts and gender identity, Smith noted that the Department of Education mandated in 2018 that schools include body part identification as the result of child molestation cases and the need during court proceedings for young victims to be “specific” regarding inappropriate touching.

Smith announced Monday night that the district will follow new protocols in regards to such presentations, including close review of materials to be used and how the talk will unfold.

“The letter that goes home needs to be specific, listing the parts that will be included on a worksheet. That way, parents will have a clearer picture — better information to enable parents to make determinations if this is for my child or not,” he said. “We can be more specific as to what will be identified and why. The ‘why’ is the biggest piece here.”

As to the guidance office poster, Smith was emphatic that it will remain.

“We have some students identify in school as different identity but haven’t shared that with their parents. We have the social responsibility in school to have them feel comfortable. They or them, he or she, they don’t want parents to know, yet. We respect that. Legislation just passed allowing us to do so. Hopefully at some point, they can share that with their parents, but maybe they won’t be able to until they are adults,” Smith said. “You think you know what is going on with a child, but often times, we don’t. See a sticker or sign at school, and knows there is a safe place to be able to talk to someone about it. There is a missed cue, by some adults, as to why it’s there. It’s not there because we don’t value all students, it’s there as a door opening opportunity. They know it’s a place they can safely go to and feel comfortable.”

SAD 61 currently does not include gender identity in its Grade 3-5 curriculum. However, it is likely coming. Smith said the recent presentation is an initial step toward addressing a subject that “it’s here, and it’s here to stay.”

“Right now, we don’t teach this as part of our curriculum, but I’m not sure that at some point in time, it will be. I would like for us to work with parents to hear their thoughts, as well as being an opportunity to provide them with some materials that might help the discussion,” Smith said. “We look at it as a grammar lesson — they, them. It was always considered plural, but Webster’s Dictionary (three years ago, I think) actually changed it so that they or them can be singular or a group. It’s an education we are all learning. It is something that is in our school every day. We welcome allkids. They’re struggling with where do they belong. We’re becoming much better working with the gender identity pieces but we have a ways to go.”

Back in his early days as a science teacher, Smith was asked to also teach sex education. While he thought the lesson belonged as part of the health program, Smith took the assignment. 

“It really didn’t bother me. The community side of it was a struggle — it belongs at home. Well, I agree. It would be great if some of these things were dealt with at home, but I think parents themselves struggle with ‘how do I do this’ and ‘what do I say,’” Smith said. “Like they and them, it is relatively new. What does ‘they’ refer to? Not male or female, this is who they are. Them is the group. It creates confusion with parents and older people like me who haven’t had to deal with it.”

Smith felt parents in attendance Monday night were at the meeting “for the right reason” and he appreciated their candid yet calm words.

“We’re all learning,” he said. “The best way to move forward is for us to communicate.”