Marian Friedman

PORTLAND — Marian “Mickey” Friedman, passed away peacefully, surrounded by many family members and friends, on Thursday, Feb. 28, 2019.

It may have been the first time Mickey left a party or gathering before anyone else. Amazingly, her older and very dear sister, Fran, died that morning.

Mickey was born June 16, 1928, in Hartford, Conn., to Leonard and Lonie Troub, the middle daughter of three girls. She was lively and spirited and sometimes the naughty one, but she was surrounded by a loving family and caring community of friends. Mickey and her sister, Fran, both went to Camp Walden in Denmark, and both remained devoted to the camp the rest of their lives. At 90, she could still count among her friends other Waldenites. Mickey and Fran also both attended Abbott Academy, (now folded into Phillips Andover), each the only Jew in their class. She attended Barnard College in New York and UPenn, but left to marry her husband of 57 years, Myron “Mike” Friedman, before completing her degree. By the time she was 29, Mickey had had five kids in seven years, the last two being twins. In addition to being a full-time mother, Mickey found time to help found the first Conservation Commission in West Hartford. She was active in the League of Women Voters, PTA, the Democratic Party, her synagogue, Temple Beth Israel, and gave much of herself to causes for peace and social justice.

In 1961, Mickey finally got Mike to visit Maine. They bought an old farmhouse in Bridgton in 1963, which became the center for many family times throughout the years. The kids all learned to ski at Pleasant Mountain and there was rarely a time in Bridgton that there weren’t additional family and friends there. Mickey was a great cook and there was always room for one more at the table. In 1971, Mickey and her family were invited to attend a multi-faith, multi-age conference on the campus of the Northfield School. The Northfield Conference became an extremely important part of the family’s life. She attended with many members of her extended family as well as inviting many others who were as close as family. It became a yearly touchstone for more than 45 years.

In 1973, Mickey and Mike started their next chapter by moving to Maine, and into the farmhouse where they lived for the next 27 years. As she had done in Hartford, Mickey got involved and gave much to her new community. And at 55, Mickey went back to college and earned her B.S. in Social Work with a concentration in Gerontology at the University of Southern Maine. Mickey became a consultant on many topics regarding seniors and aging, having studied under Elizabeth Kubler Ross and Virginia Satir. She was a contributing writer to Our Bodies Ourselves and wrote a chapter on housing for seniors in Ourselves Growing Older. Mickey also helped to start the Outreach Program for the Long Lake Chamber Music Festival, Congregation Bet Ha’Am, The Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at USM, and the Jewish Museum at Etz Chaim. She served on many local and state boards.

Mickey valued family above everything. She and Mike would drive to New Hampshire for Grandparents’ Day or to see a granddaughter in a play, or fly to Washington state for a grandson’s event, or drive to Connecticut for another grandson’s performance, or drive to West Virginia to spend time with another grandson and granddaughter. Although the family was far-flung, Mickey knit them all together on family trips and occasions. Mickey took each of her then 12 grandchildren on a trip with just her to places as widespread as Japan, or India or Scandinavia. What was most important for all of them though was the undivided attention they received from their grandmother for those trips; playing Scrabble and just talking.

Mickey was predeceased by her husband, Mike; and sisters, Fran and Eleanor.

She leaves behind five children: Richard, Betsy, Joseph, Joshua and Daniel; 16 grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren, but not a word or expression of love unsaid. She also leaves behind countless friends and family around the world.

There will be a family-only burial at Beth El Cemetery and a celebration of Mickey’s life on what would have been her 91st birthday, Sunday, June 16, at Etz Chaim on Congress Street.