By Wayne E. Rivet

Staff Writer

HARRISON — Kirsten Wears believes those trying to turn their lives around after battling substance abuse disorders need a safe and welcoming living environment.

She is passionate about helping them on their path to recovery, which is why Wears opened Tucker’s House for women in North Bridgton.

And now, Wears is focusing on opening the doors to another recovery residence, this one for men, in Harrison.

The plan has drawn mixed reactions. To dispel inaccurate information and to paint a clear picture what a recovery residence is, Wears held a public meeting last Thursday at the Town Office to answer questions. The two-hour session was before a full house, which included Tucker House board members, along with clients residing at the 10-bed North Bridgton residence.

Wears clarified to attendees she planned to talk about what a recovery residence is, and not delve into the current real estate transaction to purchase The Harrison House B&B, which was built in 1867 and sits at the head of Long Lake.

“The prerequisite for any woman moving into the (North Bridgton) property is that they have completed detox first. So, we don’t have people who are actively using living in our homes. They are women who are in recovery and they’re working on their journey to maintain that recovery. So, they’re learning skills. They’re getting jobs. They’re going to meetings. They’re managing our property. They’re taking care of our goats and mowing the lawn and weeding the flower gardens. They’re living lives like you and I do every single day,” Wears said.

Wears offered the audience her backstory.

“I’m not a person in recovery. My dad is in long-term recovery. I grew up as a child with an alcoholic dad. If any of you have survived that, you know it can be challenging at times,” she said. “It also gave me this sensitivity chip to the underserved population. They are just as important as I am. They deserve all the beautiful things that any one of us deserve as we walk this life.”

Wears saw firsthand some of the substance problems plaguing Lake Region towns when she managed Food City for 10 years.

“That is where I got to feel the pulse of these little towns that we live in. They’re beautiful and they’re pristine, but there are problems. There is addiction that is rampant. There is food insecurity. There is homelessness. I truly believe that it’s our jobs as we walk this earth to simply be kind. That means don’t be judgmental. Don’t think anyone is more or less deserving of a quality of life than anybody else, because we’re all the same. I’m just telling you that it’s your job. It’s your responsibility as human beings to take care of one another. Not many of us can say that we don’t know or love someone who’s been impacted by substance use disorder. It’s a mental health issue,” she said. “We need to, as communities, come together and eradicate the stigma surrounding these things. We need to love people. No one wakes up on any given day and says, I think I want to mess up my life and I want to mess up the lives of everyone I know and love. That is just not the case. Childhood trauma plays into it, you know, adverse childhood experiences, divorce, death, homelessness, the list goes on and on. Some of us are capable to deal with it because we’re just built that way. Others of us, we have to learn how to cope. That’s what we’re doing. We’re teaching our people how to cope and we’re loving them. We’re reminding them that they have value and that their voice at the table matters. That’s our job.”

Wears pointed out that every woman at Tucker’s House has a job, pays for rent and food, and have rules to follow and responsibilities.

“They’re becoming the best versions of themselves because we’ve provided this conduit for them. There are no drugs on our property. We do drug testing upon admission. We do random drug testing as often as we feel like we need to. We just did randoms last night, it’s part of it. It’s not fun, but we want to keep them honest. We want to make sure that they’re working their programs and they’re staying committed to the process. So, and through it all, we just love them,” Wears said.

Tucker’s House in Harrison will pursue the same goals — only for men.

“All we’re asking this community is to just love your neighbors. It shouldn’t be that hard. It shouldn’t be. They deserve big, beautiful homes and waterfront rights just like the rest of you. They are just like you — doctors and lawyers and nurses and brothers and fathers and sisters — it’s everybody.... You probably would have no idea the person to the left of you or the person to the right of you who might be in recovery. It’s everywhere. If we don’t continue to have conversations about this, it won’t change,” Wears said. “It’s our job to help change it. That’s what we’re doing. We have incredible support systems.”

The Harrison recovery residence will be overseen by a male house manager.

There were a wide variety of questions asked regarding house rules, to adequate parking, to curfew policy to how potential residents are screened before being accepted into the program. Tucker’s House is insured. It is not a “clinical” facility, it’s a recovery residence. Prescribed medication is “locked up” and distribution overseen by staff.

There were success stories showing people the importance of giving those trying to recover from substance abuse order a second chance at life.

“There’s a young man from the South Paris area, very involved in everything the last 15, 20 years. I don’t even think he remembers, but the part of the story that is wonderful, he went into detox. He lived in a sober house in Lewiston, Auburn. He’s recently got an apartment and he’s able to have his children come to the apartment, he can cook the meals. He’s so grateful to all of the support and the kindness that he’s gotten. It wasn’t easy. None of it was easy, right? But he did it. And I think that’s what’s important to know that when it’s available for people, it can be very successful,” one woman said.

A resident of Tucker’s House in North Bridgton talked about how the home has made a difference in her recovery.

“I’m 49 years old. I’ve been there four months. My addiction started when I was 35 years old. I was a veteran for three years. I got addicted to pain medication. I used. I raised my two children. I owned a house. I used to run bank offices. I did not ask for this disease to hit me. I lost my house. I’ve lost my children. My children don’t want anything to do with me right now. But I tell you one thing, I’m so grateful for this home right here. I came from a nine-month treatment facility and I learned a lot about myself. You go into treatment and you don’t know what you’re going learn about yourself,” she said. “Would you know, if I was walking outside, I’m addict?”

Another person cited that the rate of relapse is high, and asked what services would be available to assist the individual?

“I will say, if you learn to ride a bicycle and you fall off it once, do you not get back on it? You do. You continue to get back on the bike until you stay on it, for good,” Wears said. “Every single person, whether it’s one time they fall or 15 times they fall, they fall. They’re no less deserving to that point. If somebody relapses in our home, we have a zero-tolerance policy. If they relapse, we relocate them. We find them a place where they get deeper services or they go back into a detox facility or they go to a treatment program. We don’t allow them to stay in the house while they’re actively using, though we hope they won’t relapse. It can happen. It is a characteristic of recovery. There’s a learning curve to it. You have to relearn how to relive. We’ve had 24 women come through our doors in Bridgton, 24 women since February 15. Of those women, they are still active in their recovery and doing really well.”

Wears added, “No one is disposable. Whether they relapse once or they relapse 15 times, people are not disposable in our Bridgton home. If a woman relapses, like I said, we find them a different place to live because they’re clearly not in a place where they’re ready to work on their recovery. The reality is you’re less likely to find a syringe or drugs or paraphernalia in the property of a recovery residence than you are in a Hannaford parking lot.”

Wears clarified that as part of the application process, a mental health history is taken, and a list of prescribed medications is logged. Medical referrals and record of detox completion are required. The facility is state certified (Maine Association of Recovery Residences), and must comply to various standards such as having a sponsor or recovery coach.

Steve Danzig, who is a counselor and a Tucker’s House board member, manages four recovery houses in Maine. He spoke highly regarding how Tucker’s House is supervised and managed. Danzig has worked every level of recovery and done interventions nationally for 15 years. He also knows firsthand the importance of such recovery residences.

“When I got into recovery, after 10 years of going in and out of treatment programs through a number of different states, I weighed 120 pounds. I lived in a train station and I had about a $500 a day IV heroin habit. Since that time, 26 years ago, I’ve been to college three times. I have a master’s degree. I have every license that there is available. And I don’t say that to brag. That’s not what this is about. What Kirsten was saying is that everybody deserves a chance. Everyone in my life gave up on me, including myself. My story is the same as millions of other people that are in recovery. It’s difficult. This is everywhere. It’s every small town, every city, everywhere,” Danzig said. 

Another individual asked how did Wears select The Harrison House as a possible location and what impact Tucker’s House might have on the local economy?

“The location is absolutely beautiful and it meets our criteria,” said Wears, who noted later that funding comes from rent paid by residents, along with grants and fundraising. She pointed out that the Tucker House in North Bridgton is a short distance from Bridgton Academy, that the home is a “gorgeous property” and since the facility has no signage (which will also be the case in Harrison), “no one knows we’re there.”

“I don’t think it matters, the location. These people, just so we are clear, they’re working toward making their lives better and becoming the best versions of themselves,” she restated. “Any one of you people are welcome to come see our property in Bridgton. There is nothing obnoxious taking place. There is no filthy conversation taking place. These are beautiful women who are working their way to recovery. It’ll be the same with the men.”

Wears said one goal is to use the garage as a workshop so the men can “build things with their hands” and learn a craft.

Another question was what happens if a resident “gets high and gets out of control?”

Wears said law enforcement would be called, and staff is trained in how to de-escalate certain situations.

She reiterated the home is certified for 10 beds, no more. At times, there could be fewer than 10 residents.

Another resident felt it might be a little “intimidating” having a number of men in a location and questioned the safety of sending a young girl down to the public beach.

Wears tried to put the woman at ease by saying the men will be coming and going like anyone else, going to work or just being away. She also noted that her husband along with eight others had rented a place in Massachusetts for four days.

“I can promise you they’ll be smoking cigars, they’ll be drinking beers and hanging out by the fire pit, but they’re not going to do anything harmful to anybody in the neighborhood there. I can assure you to the best of my ability that we will do everything we can to be good neighbors and to provide a safe environment for your 12-year-old daughter to walk down the street. I have seven children. That’s important to me,” Wears said.

Wears encouraged people to take her business card, and if they have a question or feel uncomfortable about anything, to call her. “It will be addressed,” she said.

“We need to get to a place as people where we don’t let fear dictate how we’re gonna live our lives. If we come together as community and support one another the best way that we can without judgment and with kindness, some of that fear will just naturally dissolve,” she added. “We are completely transparent in the way that we’re approaching this. We want the stigma to be gone. We want everyone to be treated fairly and with kindness. I will be respectful of your concerns. We want to dispel the fear. This is not a business, this is a residential home. These people live here. They are allowed visitors, but there’s a process that we go through. There has to be an approved list of people. We can’t just have random people coming into our house. We need to know who they are. We need to know their connection to the people that are there. Anybody that they had previous contact with. Some of this is a trust thing. They can’t have contact with any of those people if they were their party buddies or people that they used with you know.”

When asked if there is a proposed opening date for the Harrison facility, Wears said the projection is November. She added an open house will also be held.

Wears added that part of the Tucker’s House mission is for residents to give back to the community.

“They have to be involved in community service. They have to give back to the community. That can be in a number of ways. We take being a good neighbor very seriously. We’re going be good neighbors,” she said.

Someone wanted to know if there would be designated smoking areas — yes. Wears said there is no smoking allowed inside the home.

One person thanked Wears for taking the time to hold the informational session, and her willingness to answer all questions fired her way.

“Having been in sales my whole life, this is what we call stepping into the punch. You know what’s going to happen, but you willfully do it because the end result can look better.”

Wears said, “They have to live the way that I would expect my kids to. They have to follow the rules. You have to clean your dishes behind yourself. You have to run a tight ship. You have to sign in and out. We need to know where you are all the time. The first 30 days, you have a buddy, so you can’t even leave the house alone.”

Minimum stays are 90 days, the average stay is six months.

“We’ve never found it necessary to put a time limit on how long folks stay there. However, it’s not just about them paying rent. If they’re living in the house, they need to be very active in their recovery. It’s not just, here’s the rent on Friday and I don’t care what you’re doing the rest of the time. They need to be active in their recovery working. One of the rules that we put in place for our houses when we open them was, you will be in treatment seeing a counselor going to an outpatient program, groups, etc. The absence of drugs and alcohol does not equal recovery. It equals abstinence, which is not recovery,” Danzig pointed out.

Paul Dann, whose family has lived in Harrison for decades, said, “We love the area. It’s beautiful, and it means a great deal to us. What you’re doing tonight in terms of coming here, I have to tell you, I’m incredibly impressed. Thank you. You come here and just be so honest and open with us as a community about what you’re trying to do and the importance of your work. I’m extremely impressed with that. Thank you. Thank you. That’s not an easy thing to do, right?...What you’re doing is brave. It’s impressive. I want to say something to the folks that have spoken up here too, for in recovery. I want to thank you for laying yourself out to us that don’t understand, because that is hard work.”